I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
