ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
