gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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