So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
