If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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