I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
