Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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