My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
