i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Apparently you make a good broom.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
