There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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