just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
