I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Randomize
