You really coming over, don't trick.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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