um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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