I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
