Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize