One girl and one boy is just not enough.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
So many bounce houses so little time
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
