Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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