I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
