The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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