omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
