Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
