I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
