I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
