its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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