I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
