Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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