My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
