Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
