Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
