happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
