Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
