If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
