Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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