i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
