what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
