covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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