Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I stole a fireplace last night.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
