I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
