I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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