i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
