So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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