if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
