it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
