Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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