My hand turned me down
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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