maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
