ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
