Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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