I didn't shave. On purpose
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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